I learned something today.
No, really. And officially. For the last few weeks I've been doing an online course in British Sign Language (BSL). No2 son is moderately deaf and supports his speech with signing, so his mum and I thought it was time we made a concerted effort to learn to sign. We've picked up stuff from one day courses and the like, and Shu Shu is learning all the time being with him but this is the first time we've sat down with a view to earning a qualification. The course isn't cheap and we were very grateful to receive help from the Robert Dent Memorial Fund toward its cost.
The Level 1 course comes in three progressively more difficult units. It's pretty cool, the lessons are streamed online as videos and then you have regular Skype sessions with your tutor. Tonight was a scheduled tutorial with what looked like an assessment scheduled for next week.
I am 42 years old and I graduated as a mature student from a degree course at the age of 27. Yet I still have nightmares about exams.
Seriously, even a couple of months ago I have awoken in a cold sweat from a dream where I have my O level exam the next day and I haven't done any form of revision (despite what you might have heard that isn't what really happened!). In the bizarre dream world I clearly remember saying myself saying something along the lines of 'I have a degree - I don't need to do this exam,' but still being terrified.
Nothing quite as bad as that tonight - and besides it was only a tutorial. I had reviewed the material and had a fairly good grasp of it, but I wasn't too worried as I would have another week to hone my skills.
Before the Skype connection rang I was pacing up and down like a man waiting to be called back into court for sentence to be passed. I can't believe how stressed I was getting for what was only going to be a quick 15 min chat.
The time came and I muddled through. Part of the unit is being able to clearly ask for signs to be repeated if needed and I think I mastered that pretty well - I did it often enough! I stumbled through the rest of the conversation, touching on the assigned topics (weather, directions, general introductions) fairly well and getting a sense of most of what was being said. Like any new language, I don't think I got everything that was being said but I got the gist. You get the chance later to have a look at a recording of the session so you can review your own performance. Suffice to say I haven't picked up the courage to do that yet.
Anyhoo, as the conclusion was reached and my tutor thanked me, she said 'that's it - unit 101 completed'. That tutorial was used as my assessment! I think the idea was that I'd done well enough (as had Shu Shu earlier) that a seperate formal assessment wasn't necessary - all the main stuff had been covered. I had effectively taken an exam without realising it. There was a momentary sense of relief but then I couldn't help thinking I could have prepared a little more thoroughly. Blimey, if I was this nervous (and I was still wound up afterward) without realising I was doing an assessment what was I going to be like when a scheduled one came along.
So somehow I have managed to complete the first quarter or so of my course. I have formally learned something for the first time in years - gosh I feel young again. But also do I feel a young man's fear. Oh, the older and wiser one tries to take control, but I still can't shake the feeling that there might well be an exam tomorrow that I've completely forgotten about - and I've got to cram for it.
How can I go to bed now? Quick where are my notes? There are no notes! Why are there no notes? What's happening? Arrgh!
Here's a quick video to finish. Some of this is stuff that was covered in the first part of the course.
More soonliest.
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