Immediately, the golden arrow began to twitch in its cradle.
'It's working!' cried Amber.
It was all very exciting stuff but I was still covered in Amber's snot. 'Has anybody got a tissue?'
Dan handed me one. 'Does she do that a lot?' he asked. 'Is she like a snotty Midas?'
'Yeah!' said Amber enthusiastically. 'My snot turns things into gold! Find me something else to sneeze over!'
Sensibly I ignored my sister's rantings and took a closer look at the Lodestone. As I tilted it the arrow righted itself, always pointing in the same direction. The rest of the cube hadn't changed, although I noticed one curious thing. The writing on the frame now read, 'Country of Origin: Italy'.
'That's clever,' said Dan. 'Disguising it as a fake version of itself. That's a good way to keep something hidden.'
It was an odd thing for him to say but since it was true and his tone suggested the thought had only just popped into his head I didn't fret about it.
'Transmutation,' I said. No-one seemed impressed at this so I said it again. 'Transmutation: turning base metal into gold. The secret of the alchemists.'
'Is pewter a base metal?' asked Dan.
Hah! So it was pewter.
'How do you know which way to go?' asked Amber.
'I'm sorry?'
Amber took the Lodestone off me and tilted it experimentally. With every movement the double-arrow at the centre stayed true to whatever it was pointing toward.
'The arrow's pointing both ways,' she said. 'How do you know which is the right way?'
'Oo, that's a good point,' I said.
'That's two good points,' said Dan. 'Now, I'm going to take a wild guess here. There isn't a play or a Kevin Curtis, is there? Is anybody going to tell me what this is really about?
'No,' said Amber.
We all stood there in silence looking at each other for about ten seconds or so. That doesn't sound like much but you'd be surprised how uncomfortable it gets in that short time with no-one speaking.
I crumbled first. 'Ok, then, yes.' I had already written most of Chapter 1 by then – in freehand in my journal, I've typed it all up by now, of course, and added in the bits that I missed at the time (spoiler alert! I don't die at the end! Shame on anyone reading this who hopes that I do). Easiest thing to do was to hand over what I'd written so far to Dan and let him get on with it. In the meantime Amber and I tried to puzzle out which way we should be going.
'We could split up,' was Amber's suggestion.
I scoffed at this. 'That's not going to work, is it? We can't both take the Lodestone. How would we know which is the right way?'
'I'm not bothered about that,' said Amber. 'I was just looking for an excuse to get away from you.'
'Har, har.'
'Done it,' said Dan, slamming my journal shut with enough noise to nip in the bud any potential argument between Amber and me.
'That was quick,' I said.
'I'm a fast reader,' admitted Dan. 'So you're going to use this Lodestone to find these scrolls that can bring about the end of the world? Cool.'
'Once we've figured out how it works,' said Amber.
'I suppose you'll be wanting to take it with you?' he asked.
'Well, yes, obviously.' I was getting a bit fractious at this point.
Dan smiled. 'Excellent, that'll be £24.99, please.'
'How much? For that?' I think the next category on the dial after 'fractious' is 'crotchety'. ' It's just plywood and string. And anyway, didn't you read the bit about being on a quest to save the world. Don't you think that's more important?'
'I do think it's important,' said Dan. 'I think it's so important that it's not worth carping about the twenty-five quid it's going to cost to save it. Besides, it's worth a lot more than that now, what with the gold and everything.'
'That's true,' agreed Amber. 'I think Daddy's credit card will be coming to the rescue again.'
'Would you like it wrapped?'
Dan and Amber went over to the till to sort out the purchase of the Lodestone, leaving me to ponder what to do next. Why wasn't there an instruction book? It's all very well it pointing toward where these scrolls are but what were we supposed to do? Keep walking in that direction until we bumped in to them? It was only now as we faced this first setback that I realised just how ridiculously under-prepared we were. Cabriatti had cleared off and we couldn't turn to our parents. And there was no point relying on my idiot sister for inspiration.
'We need to go and see someone who knows about this sort of thing,' was her brilliant idea. She had bought the Lodestone and Dan was handing her an upmarket paper bag decorated with the shop logo. It was far too big for the modest gift box containing the Lodestone inside it. 'I went to a psychic off Oldham Street with Louise Collier a couple of months ago. She was amazing – she knew everything about Louise, even stuff Louise didn't know herself.'
I looked toward Dan for sympathy, shooting him my best 'can you believe this?' look, but he was miles away, gazing off into the distance, blankly. He wasn't listening to a word of what was going on, but something caused him to frown. Then, unexpectedly, he gagged and his face went pale. He didn't speak but he held his hand up and shook his head as if to say 'it's nothing,' and steadied himself. I turned my attention back to Amber.
'There are no such things as psychics!' I said. 'They're just frauds using tricks to con the gullible out of their money. Don't you ever watch Derren Brown?'
'No,' said Amber sulkily. But I know that she does because she kept on harping on about that one where he performed a séance. Then again, if she didn't watch it to the very end she probably thought it was all real, that wouldn't surprise me.
Now you might be wondering why if we've had conataurs, alchemy and time travel, I don't believe in 'psychics'? It's a question of simple proof. Before yesterday I didn't believe in conataurs either, and I will gladly revise my opinion of 'psychics' if – like cone creatures - one of them decides to chase me through my kitchen at night.
'I'm really sorry,' said Dan out of nowhere. 'But I think there was something wrong with that egg custard; I'm going to be sick.' All the colour had disappeared from his face and a slight sweat had formed on his forehead. 'Could you keep an eye on the till for me – Gail'll be back off lunch soon. Sorry!' Without another word he rushed off toward what I presume must have been the toilet.
Don't let any problems with the cakes put you off the pasties. They are fantastic, honestly.
Amber hadn't yet given up on her suggestion.
'You haven't come up with any good ideas recently, have you?' she pointed out, a bit unfairly if you ask me. 'I've had to do all the thinking – I'm sick of it. So unless you come up with a better plan in the next five seconds, we're going to see Miss Booty and get our palms read.'
I can't remember what my reply was going to be because at that point there was an explosion of noise. It sounded like a thousand blackboards being scraped at the same time and it was getting louder and louder. It culminated in an tremendous crash as the glass of the front window shattered and a tram – yes, a tram – smashed into the shop. This all took place in what must have been nothing more than a split-second, but I can recall the order of events perfectly: the noise, the screeching, the window and then the tram, the huge, monstrous tram bearing down on us, going to kill us, going to smash right into us.
I didn't close my eyes. I wasn't being brave. I think I was so paralysed with fear that even my reflexes stopped working. But that's how I saw him, before he disappeared. He wore overalls and one of those reflective jackets that firefighters have so at first I thought he was with the emergency services. Then I realised that he was hanging on to the front of the tram for dear life and the truth of the situation occurred to me. Whoever this man was he'd caught the tram, literally. There was glass and rubble and dust everywhere but you could see that if the man hadn't been there the tram would've careered right through the shop, killing me, Amber and about a half-dozen or so other customers. I grabbed hold of Amber, I wanted to know if she had seen what I'd seen. But she was in shock – I was in shock! - and when I looked over to the tram once more the man had gone. A chorus of alarms assaulted my already battered nerves. I opened my mouth to speak but all that came out was a croak, I couldn't form any words, nor could anyone else in the shop. Until a lone voice, back from the toilet made itself heard above the racket.
'Oh my God,' said Dan. He doubled over and threw up.
More soonliest.
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