Aquae Sulis

The Nineteenth of September Two Thousand and Eleven. Monday. 

Let’s start off with some Divine Comedy. 

I have a very compact and bijou flat, with all the mod cons (I even have a kitchen in my living room – how space age is that?) and apart from the damning cold which is once more beginning to encroach upon us (the tiny wall-mounted electric heaters are barely adequate) it suits my current needs quite nicely. 

Where it falls down a bit though is in the hygiene stakes. Not just the general unsanitary detritus you’d typically get in single male accommodation. No, it’s just that if I want or need to have good scrub I have only a shower with which to do so. 

A shower. 

Oh, how I long for a bath. I like a good soak. You can have a nap, read a (comic) book, listen to the radio. Have a bit of a think while all the while getting cleaner, it’s marvellous. 

It’s a tricky equation getting the temperature right, mind. In anticipation of a good hour-plus long soak some discomfort might be experienced as you fill the tub with piping hot water. That scalding sensation will only last minutes and it is necessary to endure it to ensure as long as is possible is spent in the water before it becomes cold enough to give you various muscle cramps. 

These days I only ever get the chance for a bath when I’m visiting my parents or I’m on holiday. I’ll say one thing for my old friend Travelodge, they usually do you proud on the tub front. I got a good soak with my copy of Action Comics no1 in Edinburgh recently (not the original 1938 edition, naturally, but Grant Morrison’s superb entry into DC’s line-wide reboot (yes another Morrison title forming my Fifth Comic Book Recommendation). In fact, I think that was my last bath to date. 

The parental bath is good, but there your time will most likely be curtailed as you will not have sole use of the bathroom. Still, I like to get as long in as possible before someone starts hammering on the door.

When it comes to very long baths we all aim to emulate the Captain of the Golgafrincham B Ark off of The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. He knew how to drag out a bath. Let's see him in action:

Sigh.

Off to bed I go, and in the morning - a shower. But in my dreams I will be fully immersed and in the company of a rubber duck.

More soonliest.