'Is it something to do with spiders?' asked my pre-ex-wife.
No, it's not. Since I failed to make any money out of VINETICS!, my earlier attempt at forming a c̶u̶l̶t̶ r̶e̶l̶i̶g̶i̶o̶n̶ g̶e̶t̶-̶r̶i̶c̶h̶-̶q̶u̶i̶c̶k̶ ̶s̶c̶h̶e̶m̶e̶ working philosophy, I have found myself pondering the great questions of morality and trying to come up with a code that has some real practical benefits.
To this end I was sprouting no end of nonsense at work on Saturday. It all came about from a discussion that took in the Orange Parade, gay marriage, the futility of war and mature students' eligibility for 16-25 railcards. Out of this potent brew came a few ideas that were immediately tested by a series of dilemmas on that very day. That these ideas all came through is testament to the incipient potency of what I'm calling Tarrantism.
Like VINETICS!, Tarrantism is founded on three basic ideas. The first of these gives Tarrantism its name.
1) Is That Your Final Answer?
Any decision you have to make, just pause dramatically before finally execute it. Ask yourself if you are absolutely sure that it is the right thing to do. If you are still convinced, then good luck to you. Go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. If you are not, then change your mind! It's fine. It's allowed. It's in the rules. Just give yourself that last opportunity to check if what you're doing is what you really want. Ignore any coughing from the crowd. There may be more than four buttons to choose from (this metaphor has passed beyond breaking point now, hasn't it? Won't stop me, though), but even up to that very last second your course is not fixed. Until the figurative light goes orange. Or something.
2) Meeting Halfway
Look, I'm steeped in gulliblity. You're not going to have to be Derren Brewn (that is how he spells his surname, you know) to convince me of your hare-brained scheme. So I tend not to consider whether I'm being taken for a ride or not. That said, I am unlikely to give you, unknown person who has merely materialised now in order to provide an example, time of day unless you have made at least a bit of effort toward achieving your goal. Or failing that, you show some consideration when you are making your request of me.
Money's the most obvious way of illustrating this, though it isn't always as straightforward as putting numbers on things. For example, I am more likely to give you £10 toward something that costs £20 that you're willing to put up half the cash for than I am to give you all the money for something that costs £10. I might be just as much a mug in either case, but I am content in my own mind with the first scenario. See also: housework, errands and favours.
3) No Fretting
Goodness me, the untold hours I've spent fretting over stuff. Not worrying - worrying is legitimate. Hoping people are ok, that you'll be able to pay the bills, that there's still enough Philly left for your bagels in the morning. Those are things that cause you to act - emotional responses that push you do stuff that has to be done. Fretting is unnecessary concern over things that you cannot affect. Mainly, this is about stuff you've already done. Once it's done, once the light has gone orange, you can't undo it. There's only this one life, this one dimension (if you want me to get all parallel worldsy on your ass) and there's nothing you can do to change what's already done. Oh, you can repair what you've done, you can build on what you've done, you can explain what you've done, but it's done. Past tense of do. And any energy spent on it - especially if it's distracting you from what you could or should be doing - is a waste.
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| A Thal: post Castle-thump |
Now, mention of the name Tarrant always makes me think of the way Terry Nation would try and get someone of that name in his scripts (I'm thinking more Doctor Who here, but I know there was a Tarrant in Blake's 7, it's just that I didn't watch too much of that). So I can't help but think that there should be something in here about how even if you're a pacifist you're allowed to hit Roy Castle if they try and steal your woman (even if they're only trying to make a point) or something. I can't remember if the same point is made in the TV version, but the film is in colour so I think that must be more relevant. That part of it probably needs a bit more work, though.
Enjoy your lives now that I've solved them!
More soonliest.
