Tramalot Part VII

The Twenty-Second of July Two Thousand and Fifteen. Wednesday..

Onto the final furlong.

The Ashton Line

PICCADILLY GARDENS

'The song of the plants,' cried Chase. 'I composed it myself.'

 No green cathedrals to play in at these gardens. But even though it's mainly concrete, remember - no touch pod.


PICCADILLY

The automated voice ground on. 'There is no return. This is your Terminus.'

 Bit of a misnomer, this one. Yes, Piccadilly is a terminus, and used to be for the trams too. But there are through platforms. And nowadays the trams go through too...


NEW ISLINGTON

Cotton looked uneasily round the misty jungle. Ky could be anywhere out there, waiting to spring...

 There's a character called Cotton in this, and here we are next to the old mill in the heart of Cottonopolis. His partner was called Stubbs and there's a Stubbs Mill here too. Next door to the Cotton Field eco-park.


HOLT TOWN

'Halt, or you will be destroyed,' roared the Cyber Lieutenant.

 Heh. Even on this last leg there are some poor ones. This is just a good line to shout out in 80s Cyber voice so what the hey. I couldn't find a story with badgers in. I think one of the 10th Doctor novels has badger pirates, but I could be mistaken.


ETIHAD CAMPUS

'Have you seen this?' She rustled the paper at the Doctor. A headline 'Meteor approaches England' swam briefly before his eyes. 'Charlton have picked up three points.'

 Charlton played here at least a couple of times before they went down and more recently they were in a play-off here.


VELOPARK

He'd passed his cycling proficiency test, he was sure, but it had been a few centuries back and in a different body with a different centre of balance.

One rule I didn't mention. If it's an adaptation of a partially completed TV story that was never transmitted but had bits released on DVD it has to be an e-book. Back in the howling wastes of the Wilderness Years, this was another story that they made a web adaptation of, starring Paul McGann. I'm delighted that that's still available here.


CLAYTON HALL

'To know that life and death on an enormous scale was within my choice... that the pressure of my thumb breaking the glass of a capsule could end everything... such power would set me among the Gods... yes, I would do it! And through the Daleks I shall have such power!'

   Why? Because it's Genesis of the fucking Daleks, that's why. I pity the poor fools who don't have this in their lives ('Pi-ty?' The word sounded strange in the Dalek voice. 'I have no understanding of the word. It is not registered in my vocabulary bank.'). It's so good I did a preliminary pic with it at home base with a different edition.

It came out on LP, that's how good it is.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Genesis of the Daleks.


EDGE LANE

Ian noted with wry amusement that, although all these machines were undoubtedly centuries ahead of his own understanding, they still retained, with their elaborate brass fittings and antiquated pistons and levers, all the magical Edwardian splendour of a Heath Robinson mechanism, as though the Doctor had imprinted his own fascination with the Edwardian era onto his machine.

 Even in 1988, when this novelisation of a story from 24 years previous was published, Doctor Who was rewriting its past. The scene above never featured in the original TV version. Doctor Who has always stuck its tongue out at the idea of canon. Which is the definitive version? The earliest? The most detailed? The first version you saw or read? The restored and recoloured version? Telesnaps or animation? Extended 'movie' version or original TV edit? Let me settle this once and for all. I consider a story 'canon' if it has - bzzt! Bzzt! (signal lost due to Blinovitch Limitation Effect).


CEMETERY ROAD

It served in many campaigns: Pa Jass-Gutrik, the war of vengeance against the Movellans; Pa Jaski-Thal, the liquidation war against the Thals; and Pa Jass-Vortan, the time campaign - the war to end all wars.

The Special Weapons Dalek. I know it had a cameo in Asylum of the Daleks, but it's well overdue a return appearance. No 2 son pointed out that there was a modern version on the cover of Engines of War, which I hadn't noticed.

Cor.


DROYLSDEN

'I'll have a pint.' 'A pint of what, sir?' asked Morgan patiently. 'A pint of ginger pop!'

 Everyone know that androids come from Droylsden. That's right, isn't it?


AUDENSHAW

The tallest raised its hand in a pointing gesture. The hand dropped away on its hinge to reveal a gun nozzle.

 And Autons come from Audenshaw. With Liz Shaw! Oh yes!


ASHTON MOSS

'Kroll couldn't tell the difference between you and me and half an acre of dandelion and burdock - it's all food, and that's all that interests him.'

 I'm sure there's no end of moss on the swamp world of Delta Three.


ASHTON WEST

Ashton smiled coldly. 'Then goodbye. I do hope you avoid the Slyther on your way back.'

 Nothing too cryptic here. Ashton was the black marketeer at the Dalek mine. Check out that cover illustration. Movie references on the novelisation of the TV episodes. What was I saying about canon?


ASHTON-UNDER-LYNE

A thin, crimson tongue of lava gently licked over the volcano's peak.

 You get ash with a volcano, don't you? Logar be praised!

And that's it! I started at six in the morning and finished at half-ten at night. What a day that was. I'll add Exchange Square to the collection when it opens in the winter, but for now I think that's it. I don't think I'm going to try anything like this on any of the other tram systems in the UK - they don't have the local connection that the Metrolink has. Bit disappointed I was poorly on Saturday - I wanted to have a bit of a jolly on the Croydon trams (free with my pass) but I was a out of it and went to bed instead. Mind you, there's only 38 stops on that line. Maybe when Wimbledon re-opens.

Next tram-related nonsense: The new Nottingham lines when they open later this year.

More soonliest.