The Battle of Largs

The Sixteenth of February Two Thousand and Twelve. Thursday.

And so my long winter hibernation comes to an end. Yes, the blog is back. Next week I'll set about finishing off the Nanowrimo novel that petered out last November, but for now it's the usual nonsense.

Mind you, I was enjoying a long bath last night (you can tell when you're enjoying it, you don't notice the water's gone cold until your toes go numb) when Twitter led me to the wit and wisdom of The Bloggess (haven't figured how to make links on the phone app, you'll have to copy and paste - it's worth it (am now at home and have edited it so it becomes a link - yay!)). I believe the term is 'she's won the Internet'. I thought I can't even come close to that level of aceness, I might as well go back into hibernation.

Then I had some Norwegian cheese and got on with it.

I'm enjoying a brief sojourn in Scotland at the mo. I'm staying near Falkirk at a Travelodge near the motorway. Bit of a walk to get there - don't mind that - but unfortunately it's at one point of a triangle formed by it, Polmont town centre and the railway station. No cheap fried breakfast en route on my daily trips and no nearby shops. I wasn't going to pay Travelodge's obscene prices for UHT and a croissant so a visit to the Co-op (checking where the chippy was as we went) was called for.

Stocked up on the essentials: variety pack of cereal (it was Honey Shreddies this morning), bottle of proper milk (put on window sill to keep cool - see photo), Irn Bru, crisps, juice, gimmicky tubes of Heinz instant soup and cheese.

But which cheese?

Turns out the best offer was on Jarlsberg Norwegian cheese which is made to a secret recipe which is telepathed to a head cheesemaker ((insert Life of Brian joke here) they daren't write it down!) at fromageries around the world from the mind of of a preternaturally old Viking woman kept alive, lo, this past milennium by the cheese's life-giving properties.

At least I think that's what it said on the label. Tastes very nice, anyway.

This led me to investigate the links between Norway and Scotland. Famously, there's a strong Viking influence here. Also, the two nations went to war from 1262-1266 - over the Hebrides or cheese I can't remember which (I got all this off Wikipedia). There was a series of skirmishes, the most significant of which was The Battle of Largs, the conclusion of which was indecisive (although it favoured the Scots). This is commemorated in Largs by the daubing of Scots pickle on a life size cheese longboat every year, although a rise in lactose intolerance has seen this practice diminish in recent times.

Anyway, I'm off to Brodick on the Isle of Arran today. I'll be sailing from Ardrossan, not too far from Largs, but unfortunately I won't have time to pay a visit so further research is impossible.

On a happier note today's third photo is of a small leaflet left by some religious nut while I was eating my Quorn chilli the other night.

More soonliest (no, honestly (as sung by Lynsey de Paul, the theme to the sitcom with John Alderton (but not the sequel 'Yes, Honestly' starring Liza Goddard)))

Made in Scotland From Girders

The Ninth of August Two Two Thousand and Eleven. Tuesday.

It's probably going to give me diabetes and rot my teeth, but...

I love Irn Bru.

So do the Russians, it seems.

It has long been the signature drink in my lifestyle to the point where no2 son calls it 'Daddy's drink'. The peformance projects I did for my Creative Arts degree prominently featured empty Irn Bru cans. My fridge is chock full of the 250ml 'four for a pound' bottles that you can get from Poundland.

I first came across Irn Bru at the off licence on the corner of Goulden St a couple of blocks away from where we used to live on Seedley Park Road (they used to do draft beer there, too. I remember Lee Michaels' dad always used to send us there with a demi-john that we'd fill up with mild).  As the youngest of three siblings, when we bought of bottle of pop to share (or 'mineral' as we called it (or 'mingral' as my sister called it) I had no say in what was bought. Consequently it was usually a bottle of Barr's Dandelion and Burdock, Tizer, Lime and Lemonade or occasionally American Cream Soda. Irn Bru wasn't even to be comtemplated. Oh the happy day when I was old enough to buy my own pop.

It seems odd to think of it now, but the flavour I always associate with that first sip of Irn Bru is 'bubblegum'. It doesn't taste like that now, but sometimes, when you let it flow over the back of your tongue like a wine taster sampling the latest red, you get a little hint of that peculiar taste from long ago. The big litre bottles (I think they were actually a pre-metric 32 fluid ounces) came with a deposit 10 then 12 then 15 pence that meant that if you could return enough of them you would have enough to get a new bottle entirely free. Sometimes this had to be bolstered by taking along some of my dad's Boddington's bottles or one of mum's Mackie's botttles. I can still hear the clank of glass in a bag filled with a back yard full of bottles as I traipsed to the shop. I don't remember my first pint, but I recall the thrill of having enough money to buy myself a can from Greenwood's newsagent at the bottom of the road.

The details that stick in your mind - I'm sure that the original can size was 313ml. At any rate, metric or imperial, I'm stll getting through gallons/litres of the stuff a day. On my last trip to Glasgow (Irn Bru in pubs is one of the many wonderful things about Scotland - along with the Macaroni Cheese Pie) they were giving out free branded Irn Bru glasses with the evening paper. My intention was to drink only Irn Bru from it, so I was livid with Shu Shu when she 'deconsecrated' it by filling it with Vimto. I'm not sure if she understood where I was coming from with that - we seperated not long after. The two events are not linked in any way. Probably.

Here's the obligatory link to the Wikipedia page.

Anyway it's gotten late again and I ought to get to bed. Providing I can go to sleep with all this caffeine whizzing round inside (apparently they manufacture Irn Bru in Canada but with the caffeine taken out. Sorry Canada, that's not the way forward).

More soonliest.