We'll Win the Fight (Then Go Out for Pizzas)

The Thirteenth of September Two Thousand and Fifteen. Sunday.

I remember the exact moment that Steven Universe became my second favourite television series, deftly accelerating past Columbo. (I suppose that means I'd better induct it as my Twenty-First Telly Recommendation). Like a lot of animated shows, there had been a slow drip feed of new episodes, so Cartoon Network had taken to using a 'Steven Bomb' - a week's worth of episodes shown after a long gap from the last lot. 'Steven Bomb 2' took place in June.

Hold on. I'd better do a quick introduction to what I'm talking about (I always forget to do that). Steven Universe is a Cartoon Network show created by Rebecca Sugar, an animator probably best know for her work on Adventure Time. She's also a songwriter and responsible for some of the best tunes from that series. Which explains why Sugar managed to crack one of the most important facets of any TV series - the theme music. Since I seem to be making arbitrary lists at the mo, I'll go so far as to say Steven Universe has the Third Best theme in television. That's the music that plays over the end credits. The First Best is Doctor Who (obvs). The Second Best is Steven Universe's opening theme.

Steven Universe follows a well-worn path for an adventure serial. Essentially we join the story in the middle. Steven is a young boy who lives with three magical beings: Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl - the Crystal Gems of the song. It's quickly established that they fight threats to humanity - so far, so super-hero. We discover that Steven is half-gem. His earthly father fell in love with a fourth Gem, Rose Quartz. We're joining Steven at a familiar point in a familiar story - a would-be hero growing up to fulfil their destiny. There are early hints as to the history that led us to this point and subtle set-ups for stories to come, but the first few episodes are about introducing the characters and establishing the world of Beach City where Steven lives.

The format is the usual Cartoon Network one of 11 minute episodes, like Adventure Time, Gumball and Regular Show and we're now about 70 episodes in to what has unravelled to be a complex story with lots of twists and surprises. A quick scoot on a Wiki or two would reveal everything but I'm going to ask you to trust me and start at the beginning. All the episodes are available at the World of Steven Universe. It doesn't take too long before you see how bit by bit the story is beginning to build and build.

And the songs! Funny, clever, heartbreaking and sometimes just flat out awesome (sorry for using that word, but it really is the most appropriate). They're beautifully arranged too. The makers of the show post lots of behind the scenes material and it's fascinating hearing the demos of the songs and comparing them to the finished versions. There are links to downloads on the World of Steven Universe site.

Here's a one of the lighter ones that isn't too spoilerific. From the episode 'Giant Woman' it's called, er, 'Giant Woman'.

The goat is called 'Steven Junior', by the way.

Anyway, I can't be too specific about why this strange cartoon is so fabulous without going into details that would spoil the story, so I'll just vaguely allude to such things as love, feels, female sexuality, parenthood, 8 bit videogaming, anime, self-worth and breakfast. And the fact that that brilliant end music I mentioned develops as the first season progresses, matching the intensity of the episodes that lead up to the superb finale before serving up a sweet sucker punch right after you've already been on an emotional rollercoaster.

So anyway, 'Steven Bomb 2' was airing. I'd starting getting episodes on US iTunes so they came with subtitles so No2 son could enjoy them more fully. We were about to watch the first of those episodes 'Sworn to the Sword' round at his house, so I was connecting my iPad to his telly. I set it off before switching on the subtitles and paused it as it was a second into the theme song. We all called out excitedly 'New titles!' and No1 son started berating me for my tech incompetence and interrupting the purity of this thrilling moment.

It reminded me of when, as a young man, I had been round at my best man's house when the new series of the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon started. There was an exciting new title sequence then too, followed by a brilliant, confident episode with all the characters well-established and flying (the episode was 'The Girl Who Dreamed Tomorrow' if you're wondering).

That's how I felt as this ep unfolded. It is a soaring, fabbo installment with the rare treat of two great songs in it. And as it closed Columbo politely moved out of the way.

More soonliest.

Washing Machines Last Longer With Glycon

The Sixteenth of April Two Thousand and Fourteen. Wednesday.

This writing a blog thing is a right lark. It's easier than doing proper writing. You just put down the first thing that comes in to your head and hope for the best. No wonder everybody's doing it.

Alan? Alan, is that you? What are you doing here?

I can't come up with something original every time, Alan. I've got a job and I have very few opportunities to write. Sometimes I have to just coast a bit.

I can't remember, but I've a feeling you're going to remind me.

Easy for you to say, Alan. You worship Calgon, the god of dishwashers.

Alan, I'm scared. I don't want to be a writer. I just want to be a nerk who goes round looking at trams and eating breakfasts.

Oh blimey, I've given Alan Moore dialogue spoken by Dungeon Master off of the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon. In fact, why am I wasting time writing this nonsense. I think I'll put the DVD on right now and watch that instead.

Sorry, Al. I missed that. I was making a crisp butty. I'll catch you later. I've just got to rattle off this blog and it's nearly taken me five minutes already. Oh well, I suppose you've got to put in the effort sometimes.

More soonliest.

That's an Earth Joke, Uni

The Eleventh of August Two Thousand and Eleven. Thursday.

EDIT: Twenty-Fifth of August

I should really keep up to date with my own tags. The D&D Cartoon was my Second Telly Recommendation, way back when. Let's change that...

Let's just dive straight (back) in to my Second Telly Recommendation the fabulous Dungeons and Dragons cartoon from the 1980s.

Blimey, was it that long ago?

I used to play D&D regularly in the 80s and 90s - still got a lot of the rule books, supplements and stuff that I haven't used in ages and should really get rid of. Would do too if they weren't so cool. So when I saw the cartoon listed on broom cupboard era BBC children's telly I poo-pooed it thinking it was just a cheap commercial cash-in. There was a cute unicorn character, for flip's sake. It must be rubbish.

I could not have been more wrong.

I can't remember exactly when I got into it. I remember seeing several episodes from the first series. But I remember loving the first episode from the second: The Girl Who Dreamed Tomorrow. The titles had been changed, as if to reflect that, like in the game itself, the characters had become more experienced and more powerful.

Oddly though, repeats of episodes from the second series and the DVD releases use only the one title sequence - the one from the earliest episodes. It's a shame as this one's pretty cool.

In fact the whole thing's pretty cool. Back then it was fun to spot specific monsters or other direct references to the game. Now it's recognising some of the writers' names - people like Michael Reaves and Paul Dini who would go on to contribute to the brilliant DC superhero cartoons of the nineties or Steve Gerber and Mark Evanier who were better known for their work in comics. And for a series with fairly basic animation it was surprisingly cinematic - shots would be framed in inventive ways, the action was always edited really tightly. A particular treat was the different ways the arch-villain, Venger, would regularly meet his demise. I think the coolest was at the end of Day of the Dungeon Master when as Venger is trapped in the collapsing remains of the city of Darkhaven a huge dust cloud, rising as if to form the familiar mushroom shape, instead takes on the shape of the demon-like creature. The ghostly cloud then looms threateningly over our heroes only to dissipate as it reaches out toward them. There's loads of great stuff like that throughout the series - most of the episodes are on You Tube - check it out, either as a nostalgia kick or just for some really good fantasy stories.

The boxed set is pretty cheap on Amazon too if you want a few extras added in including the script for the never made 'final' episode. All good stuff.

If all that wasn't enough though, there is one reason why this cartoon is more than a footnote on one of those 'I Remember...' programmes. Two reasons really. There were lots of great characters in this show, from Eric the Cowardly Cavalier to the mysterious Dungeon Master himself. But what really made an impression on my 15 year old mind as a boy was the sight of a redhead in thighboots and an athletic young woman in a fur bikini.

.

Sheila (and Diana) take a bow. Fortunately, at the tender age of 42 such things don't bother me any more. Yeah, I watch cartoons from a much more mature standpoint now. Or something.

More soonliest.

Happy St Zosimus Day!

The Nineteenth of June Two Thousand and Eleven. Sunday.


That's St Zosimus the martyr who was executed in AD110 not one of the other St Zosimuses (yes, there really is more than one St Zosimus!).

Lapsed Catholic that I am (I never practised, although I was baptised as a baby - perhaps 'lapsed' is overstating the case) I'm afraid I don't really have much time for the Zosimuses. I saw a car with a Darwin Fish on it the other day and I was going to namecheck that symbol here until my internet investigations threw up an even more amazing icon for atheism - The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Yes, Pastafarianism has been doing the rounds for a few years now, but I'd never heard of it. It does suffer from that smugness that a lot of atheist satires of religion tend to possess but unlike some religious doctrines that can be equally smug this does make points that can actually be proved in fact. And they do have Talk Like a Pirate Day as a holiday so that's in their favour.

See how easy it is to get distracted. That small wander through the gardens of controvesy was entirely caused by me wanting to obliquely get on to what some of us are celebrating today, namely Father's Day. I'm afraid I didn't send my own father a card, but I did phone him only to interrupt his viewing of the US Open golf so it was a very hurried conversation.

Back in 1999 I decided to have a go at this fatherhood lark myself. By and large I haven't done too badly - two offspring who still seem to enjoy my company despite living apart giving them an easy opt out if they ever decided they had better things to do. At 11 and 3 years of age I'm immensely proud of both of them and despite all the anxieties that understandably go with any parenting, lately I've been happy with what my role in their lives has been and I'm worrying less about what I may or may not be doing and just enjoying their company.

So was any of that reflected in how we spent Father's Day? Well, it's been a tiring week so I'd pretty much resigned myself to this being a fairly low-key weekend. We spent most of the time watching telly or on the computer with the odd walk here and there ('there' yesterday being the Harbour Bar for ice cream. No2 son didn't realise at first that the toddler cone his ice cream came in was edible. Upon finishing, he handed it to his servant for disposal as is his way only for me to sign back to him that he could eat it. Cue an experimental nibble followed by contented munching).

It was as we set off for a stroll today that No 1 son found an envelope in his pocket and handed it over to me. Turns out it was a card from No 2 that he made at nursery - the words on it completely obliterated by green paint. No 1 then mentioned that his mum had given him five quid to get something for dad but he had forgotten about it until now. When a few minutes later I lamented that I had forgotten to get cheese for the pasta we were having for tea he suggested getting me some for a Father's Day gift. So that is what I received: a block each of Red Leicester and Double Gloucester. And when we got back to the flat and No 2 saw the card that I had opened he quickly declared 'mine!' and asked for it back...

I've really enjoyed today. I said earlier that I've been relaxed in the boys' company, but I do still worry it's a bit boring sometimes. So it brought a smile to my face when I took the boys back home to see No2 enthusiastically regale mum with tales of dragons and witches and daleks in what he calls 'old Doctor Who'. And No 1 son? I was just pleased he didn't think getting his dad a present was too cheesy...

More soonliest.